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He Is Almost Finished, This Is Almost Over, I Will Never Forget You
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-09-20 22:53
Subject:Our Acquiesce...
Security:Public
Mood:In love with SaT words bitch

" Her Jeans Were So New "

I have what some say a love for SAT Vocab, Oh yeah!

If I were Allie Id say, " SAT vocab own your face..."

The Night is young so lets go for a ride
The Children Are Sleeping For all I know.

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Date:2005-09-15 14:52
Subject:I've made you happy and made you sad. WHich should i be more sorry for
Security:Public

dont touch the tunes

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Date:2005-07-18 14:34
Subject: I'll stick the world in an envolope, along with a sad song, sing it to me softly, I take it serious
Security:Public
Mood: complacent

I haven't written in this for a long time. I almost see it as a burden rather than a creative outlet. But i still continue to beg myself everyday about writing in my "livejournal". I love having it, and i'll never erase it, I just dont know what to do with it anymore. Ok, so, i write in it today, but I wont tomorrow. Though, i will check to see if anyone has left me a pleasant message about something i've written, yet it wont go much further. Then, maybe if i have received any comments, i will notoriously retaliate with a few nice words and be on my way out of live journal land.

Dont get me wrong. There are many things i love about live journal. I love making long drawn out titles that are completely and absolutely irrelevant to the subject that i am writing. I love practicing different writing techniques, and just checking to see whats going on in middletown world.

alright im finished. I have nothing else to say.

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Date:2005-04-18 15:13
Subject:"So I Heard You Can Play Cello."
Security:Public
Mood:accomplished

The day is heavy yet the night will bring me...hope. I day dream, but how can some one day dream in such screaming hours. The images I project are ones that make my heart beat, no my heart pound, no, I mean, I dont know what I mean. This vauge expression with words cannot began to describe these dreams, these day dreams. So just believe me when I say, "I will kill the world in seven days."

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Date:2005-03-30 12:17
Subject:I Drew A Rhombus In The Night Sky...
Security:Public
Mood:getthisshitontheshelvestonight

So, I am a bit worried about my research paper, that I have to do for my English class, which is a thousand points!! I do not even know where to start. I feel so bombarded with things to do and worried about things, when really the only thing I am bombarded with and worried about is this one assignment. It just seems I cannot go one week without having something major to worry about. I feel like I am always stressed out. For example, two weeks ago it was those damn god forsaken Ohio Graduation Tests, then I think this passed school week, the week going into Spring Break, was the most stressful. Because I was stressed about getting my grades as high as possible, not that they were bad, I just wanted to get my Geometry to a higher B, and my French to an A, and keep the rest of my grades at A's, and deal with the days counting down until my research paper is due.

Considering it all, I feel all the pressure will subside when I go to see the most beautiful, amazing, lovely , joyous band in the world. Yeah, thats right guys, only ten more days. I am fucking pumped. I cannot wait. I am leaving as soon as I get out of school, even though the doors do not even open until six. It doesnt matter to me, I would wait forever to see those guys. Perhaps, this is a sign from God himself telling me that the day I see Taking Back Sunday will be the greatest day of my life. Because I get paid on that day as well.

And about prom, is anyone going? Because Heidi and I have just came to the consensus, that "hey, we dont dance, why should we spend a lot of money on something we dont like to do?" So, what we are doing, along with, I think four other people, to get dressed up and go out to a nice place to have dinner(hopefully P.F. Chang's) and do something after that. In consideration, I keep telling I Heidi that it is her last year of high school, and she should go. But does not want to. So, I am happy with both decisions.

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Date:2005-03-03 20:34
Subject:I'd Buy A Plane Ticket, But I'm Already There...
Security:Public
Mood: ecstatic

TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TAKING BACK SUNDAY. I am going to see TAKING BACK SUNDAY. I am so fucking excited. If you know any one that can snap their fingers and take us to the future... let me know. Heidi, my sister, Joesph, and I all went to get our tickets as soon as they went on sale. Heidi spent the night at my house and set her alarm on her p-h-o-n-e so we could wake up at seven forty five, and be at Kroger by eight thirty. My sister is so excited, because she likes TBS as much as I do, and it is her first show, that I bought her ticket for, for her birthday. Heidi does not really like Taking Back Sunday that much, but she is just excited to see that I am excited. At least she likes Motion City Soundtrack, so she can have a little fun. Also, Kay-why-lezzy is going to be there. Kyle likes them a lot too. Kyle and I have been waiting for this all our lives. I keep telling everybody, "Dude,guys, we're getting right up front.". My mom keeps telling me that I better take care of my sister. My mom said, "maybe you could put Shelby in front of you and let her hold on to the gate, with your arms on the side of her. Or maybe you could put her between you and Joe."(<-----would shelby love that)?

(sing)"Wouldn't It Be Nice"(sing)

Four days after the greatest show in the world, Heidi and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary. I cant believe it. Heidi has been the greatest. "she's my girl"(<--- Forest Gump). A year with her was excellent, and will probably be even better as we go along. I love her so much. I just wish I knew what to get her for our anniversary.

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Date:2005-01-13 10:00
Subject:La Nuit Nous Nous Sommes Tues
Security:Public
Mood: crushed

Nous regardons les etoiles
toute la nuit, et comptons
lachemnt mille fois...


Today was the best day in the world. I passed my Am.History exam with an A, which brought me up to a 98%, then we got out of school at 9:oo. That is fucking awesome. I wish i new how to put pictures on my live journal. But I have a fucking stupid brain, and cant figure it out.

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Date:2004-12-30 12:07
Subject:Sometimes... I Just Want To Drive...
Security:Public
Mood: hopeful

"IF YOU ASK UP HOW WE WANT IT WE'LL SAY,'MAN TO MAN'
AND WHEN YOU KISS OUR CHEEKS WERE GONNA PUT OUT OUR
HANDS BECAUSE ALL NIGHT WE'VE BEEN TALKING TO LIARS
AND ITS ALL RIGHT, ITS JUST NOT IN THE STYLE OF TIGERS"
THAT, I THINK, WAS THE LAST THING, THAT I REMEMBER,THAT HEIDI SUNG TO ME LAST NIGHT BEFORE WE FELL ASLEEP. IT WAS SO CUTE.

I really want to get my license or at the least my temps. Im tired of never being able to just go some where when I feel like going some where, and always asking my friends to give me rides home. I know it sounds weird, but I want them to be able to ask me for a ride home. Only if i know them, not just people who I kind of know. For people that I kind of know, I would give them a ride ever once in a while.
I also want to be able to go to more shows. I want to be able to be like, for example, "Hey, The Get Up Kid are coming to town. I think im going to go to that." I just keep feeling like Im never going to drive, but I remember when I felt like I was never going to be able to get a job, either. But I finally did. So maybe getting a job will be like getting my license. I will just finally be like hey I've have money, im going to go get my temp. pack. In fact, and I know i said this a million times to Heidi and to my mom, im going to get my temp pack this Friday. I get paid this Friday, and I finally wont have anything that I have to get for someone.

My only worries about getting my license is car insurance, which my mom doesnt even have, and is very expensive, and getting a car, which is expensive as well. But lets not forget about the ever popular gas, either.

But I just need to do this a step at a time. First get my temps, get into drivers Ed. then worry about the rest of the baggage that comes along with driving...

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Date:2004-12-04 20:22
Subject:You'r Smile Is As Fake As An Acters Tounge...
Security:Public
Mood:unorganized

Im sure everybody cares about my midterm grades, so I will save you sleep tonight and show you. But first lets talk about a fucking stupid teacher, that teaches a stupid fucking class called web design. She is the fucking devil. I hate her and her little meaningless class, that people just take because they have to, to get a tech. credit. I have 4 A's and 3 B's and a D(from that god awful class web design.) I fucking hope she dies. Im like a little kid.

I have a speech due Monday, a Project due Monday, and a Project due Wednesday. What am I going to do? If anybody reads this, just know that I read a the most wonderful book called Go Ask Alice, and I really need to write a summary on it. So, if any one else has read it, please helpa brother out and write it for him. But dont worry, I wont make you write it w/o something received in return... maybe a little snuggling by the fire, a bit of kissing on the couch, AND DOIN'it DOGGY ON YOUR MOM'S BED!!!!!!!!! God you know thats funny.

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Date:2004-11-16 20:27
Subject: Social Control Causes Deviance ...
Security:Public
Mood: crushed

J'AIME LE CIEL, ET LE NAGES


Christmas is almost here. This year is going by fast. Im so excited for Christmas, its going to be too much fun, yeah. Lets not forget Thanksgiving; my favorite holiday. I love Thanksgiving, and Christmas so much, obviously, for the main reason we are gifted with a few days away from school, and I get to "eat the red meat". You see, since im a vegetarian I do not eat cow, pig, and recently poeltry, all year, untill those two God sent days. Im so excited.

On to the next subject; Target. Target is so fucking awesome. All I do is get on the cashier and push carts back into the store. Speaking of which this Thursday, and Friday I work, so if anyone wants to come and visit me, "come on down". It would be flippin' sweet.

Heidi is going to come and visit me, so should any one else.

P.S. Love, and, Lipstick, and Chemistry things.

Peace.

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Date:2004-09-22 22:35
Subject:"Dropping Everything . . . even my insides"
Security:Public

Well, What is this, Brad updating his journal. God, it been a long time. Im in my web design class at school ( Ihate this class). I have an interview at Fazolies( ithink that is how you spell it), at 3:oo. Thats awesome. I hope, and prey, that I get a job at Fazolies( honest mitake, really dont know how to spell it). I need money for Home Coming: Tickets, Diner, Out fit, Shoes, and just to be able to by the love on my life things. And plus my mom is currently unemployed, but she baby sitt's, but that isnt enough to actually be able to do things. I just want to be able to give my mom something less to worry about. Like so she doesnt have to be like I have to buy Brad this I have to buy Brad that.

I dont know...

p.s. pray for Fazolies.

I love You, Heidi.

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Date:2004-08-10 12:04
Subject:Does It Hurt, Well, I Think It Should...
Security:Public
Mood:creative

Since I updated last a few new things have happened to me. The first thing that happened to me was I dyed my hair black. I know stereotypical emo kid thing to do. And for the most part i think it looks awesome. The next awesome thing is my mom got my lip pierced. BADASS!!!!

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Date:2004-08-05 16:30
Subject:Drop Your Fists, Dont Put Up A Fight...
Security:Public
Mood: intimidated

Hey everybody out there in dreamland. Go check out somebody who is listed under my friends list, and in fact, is one of my favorite people, and im sure yours too. Your probably love her more then you love me. "HotHotBeatMe, HotHotBeatMe, HotHotBeatMe, HotHotBeatMe. Read all about it."

I cant believe school is exactly 15 days away. I fucking want to die. I really dont want to go back. Especially w/o my love, my everything, my world, my "love suicide", Heidi. I really just fucking dont want to be there if she isnt there. She is the only thing that motivated me to get up every morning, the last couple mouths of school. I really dont like anybody else except her at school. Except the occasional person.

Even though its(Post Secondary and it is) the best thing for Heidi to do, and the best thing for Heidi's mother's wallet, I just cant help still not wanting her to do it. No matter how much it helps everybody, and no matter how much it makes her parents happy, I just cant allow myself to say I want her to do it.

A situation you cant, and have no control over, just gives me the worst feeling in the world. It just sucks. Its so painful to just have the only thing to do, is to just drop your fist, & dont put a fight. And thats why I dont like it. Because its just one thing I can do nothing about.


I love you Heidi.

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Date:2004-08-01 19:01
Subject: Please Write Soon . . .
Security:Public
Mood: crushed

Yesterday I was with Heidi and her mom at Wendy's, and I seen some one I havent seen all summer. It was my, well, I dont know what to call him friend now. But he used to be my best friend but I have know clue what happend to us. Its like he came over all the time then he didnt.

I tried to keep in touch with him all summer, but he would never return my phone calls. I think he called me 3 times all summer. And every time I'd talk to him he always be like, " Dude, we've gotta hand out some time soon." And I would always try to plan a day, but he would never go through with it.

God, I wish I knew what happened to us.

Its like I went from having friends to friend. Now, I have my neighborhood friend, and his name is Stevie, and he is like my best friend. Him and Joe both were my best friends. I couldnt ever choose between them, b/c they're like two different kinds of fun. Joesph's quite, yet he always has the most heartbreaking things to say. And Stevie is loud(sometimes around certain people), and loves life.

But we all three would get along at the same time and we would always hand out. B/c all three of us together was awesome, for the reason that we were the same. But we all were different.

As long as I have the most beautiful girl in the world im content.

Love brad.

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Date:2004-07-15 13:44
Subject: She Has My Hat, I Have Her Scarf
Security:Public
Mood:Dead b/c Im almost there

Thank You Heidi, thank you so much!! I hope that you have an amazing day as well. I hope nothing goes wrong for you, and everything is where and how its supposed to be.


Love, Brad

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Date:2004-07-15 09:55
Subject:Hooray!!
Security:Public

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Well, it's finally here. You're finally old enough to drive, and one more year and you can get into rated R movies :)I hope today is super amazing, and I can't wait to see you tonight.

I love you
<3me

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Date:2004-07-14 16:55
Subject:When The Voice Of Reason Became Confusing ...
Security:Public
Mood: confused

Tomorrow is the big day. The big sixteen. I cant believe it. Its so crazy. I remember just turning 13, and everybody was saying, " God, big teenager,now. Just 3 more years until you can drive". Its so crazy my life is going so fast. Like most people cant wait to grow up, but for me its different. I hate it. In two more years, ill me 18. In four more years Ill be twenty. God, if three years could go that fast think of how fast two will go. And as well as for four years. If 3 can go that fast, why cant 4. Its just going by too fast.

Everybody's parents always tell them on their birthday something to this( at least my parents do) " I remember when i was just holding you in my arms", or I love when you mom looks at the clock and thinks for a second, and says something like this, " In just 3 more hours you would have been born. And parents always say it goes by so fast. And know that we dont know yet, but I do.

Well, I think I have it figured out. The reason life goes by us a such a rapid pace. Its because we always have something to look forward to. We never just dont have an thing to ever anticipate. Either it be from the slightest thing, to a life changing event, we always have something to look forward to.

For example. July 27, Taking Back Sunday has a new album coming out(Where You Want To Be, You know you better get it or ill kill you) and I cant wait. I wish I could just snap my fingers, and July 27 would be right hear. Another example is this friday. Im so excited about what Heidi is doing for my birthday, that a couple weeks ago, when Heidi told me about it, i couldnt wait for the 16th to be here.

And that is why our lives go by so fast. Like I just know im going to be 50 and think " God, so young so fast, I should'nt, I should've dont that, and I wish I would have done better in school". Because everybody says that. Everyone always says " I wish I would have done better in school, or listened better, I would have done so much different".

So im here to say, dont fall for the same mistakes, and live it up, live it up.

P.S. Im sure Heizzite will read this, so, I love you Heidi.

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Date:2004-07-14 00:36
Subject:<3
Security:Public

Hi hunny bunches of Brad. I miss you so much. I'm sorry I'm being so selfish, it's just hard to go from seeing you every day to not seeing you for a week. But, we'll spend all of Friday together. It's going to be tons of fun :) I love you more than anything.

<3me

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Date:2004-07-12 14:24
Subject:As I Survived The Suicide Bomber...
Security:Public
Mood:Changed

This morning when I woke up and went down stairs, my grandmother, and step mom were talking about how mean kids are. Then my grandmother was telling a story about how when she was in high school, there was a girl with a very bad complexion, and the girl had just got a perm, or something like that, and came to school and everybody started making fun of her. Calling her very cruel names, and laughing at her.

I bet when she woke up and fixed her hair that morning, her mom probably told her how pretty she looked, and how nice she was dressed.

That is the meanest thing ever. That almost mad me start crying. I cant believe how mean kids are age are. Its terrible. And then people wonder why kids start shooting up schools and stuff. Its ridiculous.

Next time I even think about making fun of somebody, im going to think twice. Because that is horrible.

I dont know I just thought I'd share that with everyone.


P.S. I love you Heidi......... Bown.

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Date:2004-07-12 01:30
Subject:Excuse Me, Sir, What Time Is It? Time For You To Get A Watch, Son Thats the fucking dumbest thing
Security:Public
Mood: curious

Anyone that reads my live journal, and is always playing with their insides just asking themselves should I comment or not. Even if it would be one of those " i know him but he doesnt know me." or " I've seen him, hes seen me, but we dont know each other should I comment?" Go ahead.

Because I love seeing that some one has commented on my LJ. It will never be weird. Ill never think " but I dont even know this person, why are they commenting on my entry". Thats why my lj is not friends only. So please just comment.

For example on the entry where I talk about my parents(Something Isnt Correct) a very nice person that I dont really know that I've seen around school, that ive actually sat within 5 ft of her before, know her name, heard her talk, and never said a word to her(my lose). She left a very nice and meaning full comment on my journal entry. Thank you.

So if there is any one like that, reading my lj, just comment. Nice or bad. It doesnt matter. As i said, thats why it isnt friends only.

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